A Dead Lawn Chair Should Not Be That Dashing
by Arahith
Summary: This is just one of those millions of stories about how Urahara got his hat. Enjoy!


AN: I wrote this befor Kubo released the huge amount of backstory... and promptly forgot where I put it. I still think it is one of my better peaces. So here it is in all its incorrect glory.

disclamer: I own none of these characters or their world.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"You know, if I'm going to run off; I need a hat."

"What?" said Yoruichi, startled by this sudden non-sequitor into falling off the tall counter that she had been perching on, cat-like, thinking of nothing in particular.

"A hat, it's a piece of clothing that you wear on your-Ow ow ow. Ok, Ok, you can stop now!" Kisuke was cut off mid-witty remark by her grabbing his hair and pulling on it till he was about a foot shorter. He reflected that he should have known better. It was the middle of winter and she wanted nothing more than to turn into a nice warm ball of fur and curl up on his lap. But only a few knew of her abilities in the Soul Society and now that they had agreed to run away together; the fewer the better.

Eventually, she gave up and returned to her perch. She tried to return to thinking of nothing in particular but the idea of a hat had piqued her interest and she just had to ask:

"Why do you need a hat?"

"Because we're running before I can be caught."

"But what does that have to do with needing a hat?"

He gave her a confused look that seemed to say, running equils hat, and started to open his mouth, but she knew they had reached a logic barrier (his logic and her's were not always the same) and cut him off, "Never mind." she said.

There was silence for a while. _Damn brain_. She was once again annoyed. Only Kisuke could sidetrack her entire brain to think about hats.

"What type of hat?" she asked.

"Something dashing and mysterious. Something that sets me apart from my fellow man."

"Ha!" she laughed, getting a great idea, "Tomorrow, I shall buy you a hat. But now I am going to bed." She jumped off the counter and walked past him, trailing a finger along his jaw line.

"I'll be there in a bit." he said, still preoccupied with whatever it was that he had been working on for the last few hours.

"Kisuke," she said and waited till he looked up at her, "You said that last night, but never came to bed. It's already midnight. Just... don't be too late."

_How had her eyes gone from laughing to sad so fast?_, he asked himself silently. He got up and kissed her, "Don't worry. Just a few more frantic days, then we'll have centuries to lounge about and sleep till noon."

OOOOOOOOO

Yoruichi woke up next morning to find the space beside her empty. She sighed, annoyed. She walked silently into the room they had been in last night. There he was, asleep at the table, bits and pieces of uncompleted junk all around him. She stood beside him. _How to get him up...hm,_ silently she pondered the problem. She leaned over and started chewing on his ear, just gently, like when she played with him as a cat. A grin slowly spread across his still sleeping face. She stopped and sighed loudly into his ear. He snored. He wasn't going to wake up easily and now she was really annoyed. She chomped down.

"Owwww!" well he woke up that time.

She stood there and looked at him. "You wouldn't get up." she said simply.

He glared at her. "Cat!" he retorted.

"Come on," she said, "I promised you a hat."

They walked along the streets of the Seireitei, talking, laughing, and occasionally fighting. Soon they came to a small funny colored shop, which seemed extremely conspicuous against the calm, smooth, white buildings. It was so bright and bouncy-looking that it almost hurt. It looked like Yachiru painted it, except that there were no dieing hollows with fountains of blood everywhere and grinning men with excessively pointy hair. There were only abstract designs. Urahara hoped that the merchandise inside did not look exactly like the outside; but then he remembered Yoruichi's sense of humor. He had been the only person not to be fazed by her cat trick (Only because he turned, looked, muttered, "Oh, alright!" then proceeded to strip. Needless to say, she was angry and proceeded to beat him up, but they did start dating soon after) and now she considered it her duty to freak him out at every occasion.

"Stay out here!" she said with a wicked grin and put her hands around his head then carefully lifted them off, preserving their shape, "And close your eyes!"

"What are you doing?" he asked, concerned by the weird hand movements.

"Getting your size! Now close your eyes!" she ordered as she disappeared into the shop.

Kisuke sat there, in the middle of the street, eyes closed, humming. He didn't need to hum, it was just that when one of the most powerful men in the Seireitei was standing in the street people either went to him for help or stared at him in awe. But when that man was standing in the middle of the road loudly humming some tuneless monstrosity they gave him a wider berth.

A single eye popped open. He stared at the building and tried in vain to see in the small windows. There were curtains, blast it, no one could see in or out. Suddenly he herd Yoruichi yell, "Close your eyes! No peaking!" Kisuke sighed, shut the eye, and hummed louder.

Yoruichi came out of the store holding a masterpiece. It was made out of thick canvas that looked downright weather proof; thick bold stripes green ran down the white faberic and skinny ones bordered them. It looked like it was made out of a lawn chair.

She grinned. It was perfect. People could not look serious in this hat and looking serious was something that Kisuke, most of the time, didn't even try. Well, it would certainly "set him apart from his fellow man"

She turned and stood directly in front of him. _What hideous thing is he humming?_ She decided that she didn't want to know and, sighing and rolling her eyes, she placed the hat on his head. It cast deep shadows across his cheekbones. He opened his eyes and they became the only points of brightness in that dark abyss. The wind picking up, he bowed slightly into it and put a hand to his had to hold it steady. His coat danced behind him.

With his other hand on Benihime and those bright eyes starring at her, he looked, _damn_, he looked dashing.

She grabbed the front of his shihakusho and, with shun-po, pulled him back the way they came. She dragged the startled Kisuke into his workshop and pinned him against a wall.

"No one," she said, ripping his captain's coat off, "is allowed to look that damn sexy in a hat made out of a lawn chair." She angrily messed with his belt, unable to get the knot undone.

"You know," he said, raising her chin up, "I think I like this hat" and then he kissed her.


End file.
